For weeks, residents of Rockport, Mass. have been waking up to find their windshields and side mirrors mysteriously shattered by a mysterious assailant.
Then one sharp-eyed resident, Janelle Favaloro, finally managed to capture a picture of the culprit: a pileated woodpecker.
“We seem to have a vandal in our neighborhood,” Favaloro told NBC’s “TODAY” show, describing the suspect as “18 to 24 inches tall, wearing black and white with a red hat.” So, basically a bird with a better sense of style than half of us.
This giant woodpecker is not just pecking for food, though — it’s apparently having an identity crisis. It’s been spotted repeatedly attacking its own reflection in car windows, windshields, and side mirrors.
Favaloro said the woodpecker is responsible for damaging at least 25 vehicles around Rockport.
According to Zoo Miami’s communications director, Ron Magill, this chaotic behavior can probably be blamed on mating season aggression.
"If they're seeing their reflections of themselves, they don't understand it's a reflection," he told "TODAY." “They think it's a competitor."
So, Rockport, congratulations: you’ve got the world’s most aggressive (and delusional) woodpecker on your hands.
Bird Rage
Woodpeckers aren’t the only birds having a hard time with modern life.
The Galápagos Islands, once Darwin’s peaceful laboratory of evolution, is becoming a crash course in wildlife road rage.
Scientists have found that the local yellow warblers — tiny birds that should be worrying about seeds and mating dances — are now adapting to cars. Because even in paradise, humans have managed to cause traffic problems.
Researchers recently blasted recordings of birdsong and traffic noises across the islands and watched the warblers react. Birds living near roads basically went full angry commuter — flitting aggressively at speakers and getting way too worked up for something that wasn’t even real.
Similar behavior was observed on Santa Cruz Island, the automotive epicenter of Galápagos with over 1,300 vehicles, where birds now sing longer just to be heard over the chaos.
Move over, survival of the fittest. Now it’s survival of the loudest
Butterfly Bottleneck
Meanwhile over in the UK, nature is fighting traffic with a bit more subtlety — wings, camouflage, and legal land rights.
In southeast England, the Kent County Council’s plans for a $300 million upgrade to the A229 Blue Bell Hill Highway are being derailed by a butterfly.
Not just any butterfly, but the Green Hairstreak, a rare creature rocking brown tops and green bottoms like some kind of nature hipster.
To make matters worse, the area is basically an all-inclusive resort for endangered species: Dingy Skippers, Small Blues, Adders, and orchids shaped like tiny humans.
A spokesperson for KCC said they have been “working collaboratively” on the plans to widen the highway and add new on-and off-ramps with Maidstone Borough Council, which — minor detail — actually owns the land. But Maidstone Council leader Stuart Jeffery told KentOnline that “KCC hadn’t spoken to us about this. It came completely out of the blue.”
The local authority has previously called the A229 “one of the county’s worst roads” for congestion and road safety.
But Jeffery is having none of it. “This land is really very valuable for wildlife and biodiversity, and we wouldn’t want the wildlife destroyed just to build a road. That would be bonkers.
Highway Robbery
While England argues with insects, Sri Lanka has bigger problems. Four tons bigger.
Meet Raja: part elephant, part tollbooth, full-time snack enthusiast.
Forty-year-old Raja has taken to blocking the Buttlala-Kataragama road whenever he sees a vehicle he likes.
Once you’ve been halted by Raja’s massive frame, he’ll gently poke his trunk into your car window or door to collect his toll: a fruit offering, of course.
Raja isn’t just any elephant — he’s a local celebrity. Tourists flock to the area, ready with fruit in hand, just in case they encounter the road-blocking tax collector.
People don’t seem too bothered by the traffic delays, given the elephant’s status as a revered figure in both Buddhism and Hinduism. Raja’s antics even caught the attention of the BBC’s “Asia” documentary series, where he made his viral debut.
And honestly, who could resist a toll collector with a trunk full of charm? RB
David Matthews has been chronicling the unexpectedly humorous side of transportation news for his Roads Report column since 2000. The stories are all true.
