By: David Matthews
Sneak attack
When driving with a pet, it’s important to treat it as you would an infant. Allowing it to ride with you in the front seat can be very dangerous, particularly if by “pet” you mean snake and by “front seat” you mean around your neck.
A Naples, Fla., man learned this lesson the hard way recently as he cruised down the Golden Gates Parkway. Courtland Johnson was playing with his pet snake when it suddenly bit him on the face. As you would imagine, fighting with a snake tends to compromise one’s driving abilities. Johnson crashed through several roadwork barricades before finally coming to a stop, wrestling the snake off his face and throwing it out of the car.
Later that same day, police found Johnson at home where he tried to explain away the bite marks and dried blood on his face as merely the result of crashing his moped into the side of a barn while shaving.
Sheeps for lease
A Dutch website has come up with a new form of roadside advertising, but now they’re beginning to suspect that local officals are trying to fleece them.
Since April, Hotels.nl has been paying farmers to put blankets featuring the website’s logo on their sheep. Farms along highways near Amsterdam, Leiden, Groningen and the Hague were chosen so that the blankets would be seen by passing motorists.
However, Mayor Bert Kuiper in the northern town of Skarsterlan feels the campaign violates a local ordinance in his jurisdiction that bans advertising on freeways.
In response, the website announced that it would change the statement on the blankets in Skarsterlan to “Thank You, Mr. Mayor.”
The mayor countered with the threat of a $25,000 fine, but the website scoffed at the amount, pointing out that their annual sales exceed $85 million.
Unwilling to back down from his principled position (“What’s next, cows and horses?”), the mayor upped the fine to $60,000. Now the website is taking the mayor to court.
In the end, the website did agree with the mayor on one thing: horses might be next. Hotels.nl has announced that if it loses its court battle, the war will not be over. The site will simply be forced to distribute horse blankets bearing the website logo to hundreds of homes in Skarsterlan free of charge.
Meet the press
In an inspiring display of heroism, journalists covering a grand jury hearing at the U.S. Courthouse in Washington, D.C., fearlessly jumped to the aid of a family in danger.
The family, a mother duck and her eight little ducklings, were taking a stroll around the courthouse grounds recently when they decided to continue their sightseeing tour on the other side of Pennsylvania Avenue.
But crossing the street during busy afternoon traffic is no easy feat, even for a turkey or a flamingo. So a team of reporters and cameramen dashed into action, halting traffic in both directions so that the duck family could safely cross.
Once they reached the other side, the journalists even helped the ducklings up over the steep curb to join their waiting mother.
When lawmakers heard about the near disaster, they scheduled a meeting to name a committee to put together a board to assemble a council to prevent future incidents.