Rules to drive by
You can never predict the actions, or reactions, of another motorist. A minor inconvenience to one driver might be a personal affront to another. So in order to stay safe on the roads, here are some important rules to keep in mind.
Rule No. 1
Don’t pass anyone driving a brightly colored SUV. If they were crazy enough to ask for a vehicle in “electric dandelion,” then they are crazy enough to attack you.
Jeff Martin and his girlfriend, both of Shawnee, Kan., learned this lesson the hard way on a trip to visit some friends last month. On the way, they passed a man in a yellow Chevrolet Blazer who immediately became enraged and began gesturing at them and tailgating.
When both parties had to stop at a traffic light, the man got out of his SUV and began to attack Martin with a pipe. Luckily, he escaped without serious injury.
Rule No. 2
No matter what another driver yells at you from their car, don’t engage them.
A Salt Lake City man was being yelled at on I-15 recently by a unknown woman, so he gave her the finger. Without missing a beat, she pulled out a .357 magnum and, while continuing to drive, shot the tip of the man’s middle finger off.
Rule No. 3
If you feel threatened by another driver, don’t pull off the road and park.
Robert Bell of Londonderry, N.H., made that mistake when he found that he was being tailgated through a school zone. When Bell pulled off the road into a parking lot, the other driver simply followed him so that he could more easily explain his frustration.
Luckily for Bell, this guy didn’t have a gun or a pipe, though he was ready to get one. After yelling at Bell for only driving 35 mph through the 25-mph school zone, the man spit in Bell’s face and threatened to kill him if he ever drove that way again.
A Flair for trouble
Even celebrities aren’t immune from overreacting on the roads.
In November, professional wrestler Ric Flair was accused of road rage by a 29-year-old motorist in Charlotte, N.C. The man claimed that for some unknown reason, Flair got out of his vehicle on I-485, grabbed him by the neck, and kicked a dent into the door of his Toyota 4Runner.
Flair, a 16-time world champion, denied the charges, pointing out that as a professional wrestler he had never kicked anything for real in his life.
It’s all in the cards
With all the potential damage that road rage can cause to your own vehicle, your safety or even innocent celebrities, how can you get ticked off safely?
RoadRage.com thinks they have the answer. For $19.99, they’ll sell you Road Rage Cards, a flip-book of large, easy-to-read messages that you can direct at offending drivers.
The 43 different messages include must-haves like “The gas is the pedal on the right!” and “I hope that cellphone gives you cancer.” Each message also comes with a mirror image so you can tell off drivers in front of you through their rear-view mirror.
The book also includes blank pages for drivers to write their own messages, such as “Hey, Ric Flair, learn how to drive!”
