Get your motor running
The company that published such classic American novels as Silken Barbarity and The Boss’s Virgin is about to release its “raciest” titles to date. Harlequin Enterprises has struck a deal with NASCAR to publish a variety of NASCAR-branded “women’s fiction” titles with plots centering around stock car racing.
The first book, titled In The Groove, will be out later this month, just in time for the Daytona 500 on Feb. 19.
Its promotional tagline reads: “The high-speed thrill of NASCAR racing meets the high-stakes game of love in this whirlwind romance from the author of ‘Dangerous Curves’!”
Harlequin assures NASCAR fans that in addition to paperback, the new titles also will be released in the more familiar audio and comic book format.
Pointer of no return
A dentist in Amsterdam thought he had the perfect plan for an early retirement. Unfortunately he was off by a digit.
The 50-year-old was out to collect over $2 million from his insurance company by faking a car accident. But this would be no half-hearted attempt. In order to make the crash look completely convincing, the dentist cut off his own index finger.
Down a digit, the dentist then crashed his car into a tree. He told authorities that the steering wheel had amputated the finger, but that $2 million might help ease his pain.
Unfortunately, the authorities noticed that the shape of the cut on the man’s finger was not consistent with his story. They also found anesthetic in his blood.
Still, the dentist’s plan wasn’t a complete failure. Thanks to a suspended jail sentence and the utter decimation of his professional reputation, he still appears to be headed toward an early retirement.
Bent as a two-bob note
A warning to British drivers: Mind out for bobbies on the carriageways or they’ll bang you up for a bundle.
Jason Evans was pulled over in Somerset recently for driving through a 2-in. puddle and splashing a workman. He challenged the ticket in court arguing that he had slowed to 10 mph and didn’t mean to splash anyone, but still ended up being fined the equivalent of $250 US.
Evans’ story is just the latest in a series of crazy cases in England. Earlier this year, a man in Cheshire was fined $50 for “improper use of a horn” after he honked at an unmarked police car blocking an intersection. Not long after, a man in Manchester was fined a similar amount for playing “Riverdance” too loud in his car.
And in November, a woman in Tyneside had to fork over $100 after a police helicopter filmed her holding an apple while driving.
Now that’s just bloody bonkers.
The modern-day Love Bug
The objective pollsters over at Ford Motor Co. have announced the findings of a recent survey they conducted. Their results show that the make and condition of your car plays an important role in dating.
Of the 400 single men and women polled, over 90% said they were extremely or somewhat likely to notice their date’s car.
And that doesn’t just mean the make and model. Nearly 70% of women said that the condition of their date’s car would at least somewhat affect their attraction to the person. (Only 47% of men agreed.)
Ford’s scientific conclusion? Fuel economy is for hippies and nuns. If you want to date a model, you better buy—oh, I don’t know—a brand new fully loaded 2006 Ford Fusion.
Who put that wall there?
Everybody makes mistakes. So why should a minor miscalculation interrupt breakfast?
That’s what 78-year-old Rouland Steppert wondered after he accidentally drove his Lincoln Town Car through the glass entryway of a Burger King in Wausau, Wis.
Still determined to “have it his way,” Steppert backed his car out of the restaurant, parked and went inside to eat.
Perhaps afraid to say no, Burger King employees took Steppert’s order and police arrived to find him calmly eating his breakfast at a table near the damaged entryway.