Summer madness

When temperatures go up, drivers go nuts

Roads Report Article July 05, 2017
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Catching heat

Most communities have their share of bad drivers. However, not many have a driver who is so notorious that she has earned herself a nickname and a community-run Facebook page.

 

Patricia McDonald of Topeka, Kan., is just that driver. Nicknamed “The CRV Lady” for the blue 2008 Honda that she uses to terrorize her neighbors, McDonald is such a terrible driver that Topeka residents use a dedicated Facebook page to warn each other of her real-time movements around the city.

 

Titled “CRV Lady Awareness of Topeka,” the page features posts detailing McDonald’s bad driving, including parking in the middle of a multi-lane street, driving into oncoming traffic, and blocking an intersection during an entire green-light cycle while reading a magazine.

 

This spring she was even photographed behind the wheel wearing sunglasses over a piece of white paper covering her face.

 

After being cited more than 20 times, McDonald finally had her license revoked in May, but that hasn’t stopped her from driving.

 

After the revocation, the CRV Lady was caught on a gas-station surveillance video struggling with a gas pump and then arguing with an employee because she lacked the proper ID to pay with a check—presumably because she no longer has a driver’s license.

 

Hot wheels

In Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, a very unusual vehicle sparked a bit of a mystery on social media recently.

 

When photos of a Jaguar S-Type covered with thousands of colorful Hot Wheels cars went viral, no one was sure whether the car was a work of art or a publicity stunt.

 

It turns out, however, that the car is actually the prized possession of a local businessman and toy car collector, Datuk Seri Mahadi Badrul Zaman.

 

Over the past 20 years, the 34-year-old CEO of Financial Genius Group has collected more than 5,000 cars, but had never figured out a good way to display them.

 

But then the flamboyant Mahadi had a revelation. By gluing his collection to the exterior of his real car, he could bring it with him wherever he went.

 

Of course, cleaning this new “paint job” is a nightmare, and Malaysia’s equatorial climate can put a strain on even the strongest glue. But it’s all worth it for  Mahadi to bring his car collection to life.

 

The heat is on

According to recent studies, Florida is both the warmest state in the U.S. year round, and also home to the worst drivers in the country. Coincidence?

 

Here are just a few recent entries from the Sunshine State police blotter.

  • Pensacola police received a call about a pantless man spotted at a car wash. They found Charles Raulerson blasting music from his vehicle and definitely not wearing pants. When told to get dressed, he informed police that he couldn’t because his pants “took off running by themselves without me.”

    Asked to sit in his car while the police determined what to do about the wayward pants, Raulerson decided to threaten officers with a screwdriver, which got him Tasered and arrested for aggravated assault on an officer. Raulerson’s delinquent pants, however, remain at large.
     

  • In Polk County, Ronald Thompson went beyond pants-free. Dressed in his birthday suit and armed with an empty 5-gal bucket, Thompson broke into a storage facility and stole a truck and a $25,000 swan statue named “Aspyre.”

    It’s unclear why Thompson opted for his naked-with-a-bucket attire, but it is clear that he’s not a master criminal.

    The stolen truck was soon located in a neighboring county, and a local fisherman found Aspyre nestled beside a nearby pond.
     

  • Paul Wilkins of Crystal River didn’t even attempt to evade arrest for his crime. In fact, he delivered himself straight into a DUI charge—literally.

    On a recent Saturday night, Wilkins drove through a traffic control point and plowed into a detective’s vehicle, pushing it into the sheriff’s newly unveiled drunk-driving awareness patrol car.

    Wilkins was charged with DUI and transported to jail in the back of the damaged police vehicle, which bears the slogan, “A Cop or a Cab, You Decide.”

    Wilkins may not be a brilliant felon, but at least he kept his clothes on the entire time.

 

About the author: 
Matthews has been chronicling the unexpectedly humorous side of transportation news since 2000. The stories are all true.
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