Choosy thieves don't choose Casio
A disappointed thief in Germany recently left a thoughtful note of suggestion in a would-be victim's car.
Police in Diez say that when the owner of the car returned to his vehicle, it was obvious that someone had broken in. But strangely, nothing seemed to be missing.
Then he found the note which read, "Your radio's s***! Not worth stealing!"
Settling a beef
Two housewives in India are in the hospital after a walloping street brawl.
Seems the fight started after one wife was scolded by the second for grazing her cows a little too close to the second wife's house.
Allegedly the first wife wasn't about to be told what to do with her cows, so she attacked the second wife and bit her ear off. Her husband allegedly joined in, too.
Not so, says the first wife. She claims the other wife bit her ear off first.
Both women are being treated in separate hospitals but plan to settle their feud once and for all on pay-per-view at Cattle Battle 2002.
Got crack?
Four drunken British teens recently kidnapped a milkman and didn't exactly do his body good.
The teens were able to commandeer the milkman's unattended truck in Huyton, Merseyside, while he made deliveries.
When he returned to the truck, the teens attacked him and pulled him in. They then proceeded to drive the milk truck through some unsavory neighborhoods trying to buy cocaine.
The beaten driver was eventually let go, but the stoner milk thugs are still on the loose.
To each his own
A British man (desperately in need of a girlfriend) gave up trainspotting 15 years ago to take up cement mixer-spotting.
In that time, Ronnie Crossland has traveled 200,000 miles taking over 1,000 pictures of various mixers, which he calls "things of beauty."
He says he gave up photographing trains because, get this, it got boring.
All aboard
Anyone who takes the subway at rush hour knows that "rush" isn't really the operative word. But sometimes you just have to get where you're going.
Such was the case in London recently when a morning commuter couldn't fit on a crowded subway car. Rather than wait for the next train, he jumped on the back of the full one and rode for 20 minutes on the outside of the train.
Despite the 60-mph speeds, the man successfully made it to his stop and hopped off. Authorities are trying to find him before he gets the same idea at an airport.
But the enchiladas are so good
The English magazine Top Gear recently published a list of statistics profiling the average driver--and the results aren't pretty.
The survey found that during the lifetime of a normal driver, he or she will nod off behind the wheel 11 times, run 181 red lights, curse 32,025 times and expel 912 pints of wind inside the car.
The same driver also will pay attention to only 35% of road signs and believes his or her driving is better than 87% of others.
Outtathaway!
An insurance company in Romania is refusing to pay the medical bills of a 72-year-old man who keeps getting run over by cars.
That's because the man is actually causing the accidents himself. Gheorghe Pascu has been run over dozens of times, winding up in the intensive care ward eight times and suffering numerous concussions and broken bones.
Doctors say he suffers from a "chronic obsession with car crashes." Pascu even told the Evenimentul Zilei that he can't resist getting run over. "I like it and that's it. When I see a car I just have to jump in front of it."
Thanks, I think
No one can accuse the British bus line Arriva of not being honest with its customers.
When 73-year-old Violet Bambridge lost her bus pass, it was recovered and promptly mailed back to her--along with a note from her bus driver reading, "Left on the 390 at Hertford 15:55. Everyone on the bus said it ?belonged to the miserable old cow.'"
Arriva apologized "unreservedly" for the incident and said that Mrs. Bambridge is no cow. Maybe a bitter old hag, but no cow.\
[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]
Roads Report is a monthly roundup of unusual traffic-related events in the news. All the stories are true, but reported in fun.
