Keeping it real

June 5, 2008

Juvenile joyride

For a 7-year-old Florida boy, grand theft auto is more than just a video game. It’s the basis for his weekend entertaining.

Latarian Milton of Palm Beach Gardens had another 7-year-old over to play on a Sunday afternoon in April when he decided to take his grandmother’s Dodge Durango on a joyride.

“I wanted to do it because it’s fun to do bad things,” Latarian told local ABC affiliate WPBF News. “I wanted to do hoodrat stuff with my friend.”

Juvenile joyride

For a 7-year-old Florida boy, grand theft auto is more than just a video game. It’s the basis for his weekend entertaining.

Latarian Milton of Palm Beach Gardens had another 7-year-old over to play on a Sunday afternoon in April when he decided to take his grandmother’s Dodge Durango on a joyride.

“I wanted to do it because it’s fun to do bad things,” Latarian told local ABC affiliate WPBF News. “I wanted to do hoodrat stuff with my friend.”

Police say Latarian took the other boy on an eight-minute ride, driving several miles through Lake Park and Palm Beach Gardens. Along the way, he ran over two mailboxes, hit two parked cars in a Costco parking lot and struck two moving cars near a Wal-Mart.

As the carnage began to pile up, police received calls about a reckless driver who appeared to be too short to see over his own steering wheel.

Undaunted, Latarian continued to drive until the wheels literally fell off. He hit a curb and sideswiped a sign, snapping off the SUV’s front axle and the right front wheel. Fortunately, no one was hurt. At least for now.

“I want to whip his behind,” Latarian’s grandmother told WPBF. “If I thought they wouldn’t take me to jail, I’d whip his behind right now.”

Latarian was arrested, but police say he is unlikely to be prosecuted. He is too young for any kind of juvenile facility, but police can use the arrest to get Latarian into the system and find him some help.

When WPBF asked if he thought he deserved to be punished for what he did, Latarian replied, “Just a little bit. No video games for a whole weekend.”

Scenic view pileup

In order to cut travel time between two major port cities, China has built the world’s longest cross-sea bridge. The only problem now is that drivers like it too much.

The 22-mile-long cable-stayed Hangzhou Bay Bridge connects the port city of Ningbo with the financial hub of Shanghai, reducing travel time between the two from four hours to just two and a half.

That’s assuming, however, that traffic is moving at a reasonable pace.

Since the $1.7 billion bridge opened on May 1, hundreds of drivers have been fined for driving too slowly in order to enjoy the view, or even parking in emergency lanes to take pictures.

Long lines of cars carrying entire families eager to see the bridge and the ocean view have been causing serious traffic congestion and even accidents.

In fact, on the day the bridge opened, more than 2,000 cars were lined up, some for as long as 16 hours, just to be among the first to drive on the new structure.

Dude looks like a lady

Hell hath no fury like a man dressed like a woman scorned.

A suburban Detroit lingerie store found this out the hard way in April when they opted not to hire Jeremy McIntosh, a 27-year-old cross-dresser. Unhappy with this decision, McIntosh decided that the best way to get his revenge would be to ram his 1994 Geo Tracker into the building. Repeatedly.

After seven attempts to bring down the building, employees found a defeated McIntosh inside his crumpled Tracker wearing makeup, blue capri pants, red flip-flops, a flowery blouse and a matching flowery bra.

McIntosh later told police that he was homeless and didn’t mind going to jail.

The store’s manager struggled to understand just what McIntosh could have been thinking. “I can’t believe he was trying to match his eye shadow to his capris. And flip-flops before Memorial Day?! Is there somewhere worse than jail where he could go?”

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