We are the Champions
When a 23-year-old tried to place a police officer under citizen’s arrest, it quickly became a family affair at the local jail. In June, motorist Lance Champion pulled up behind a Warren County, Tenn., deputy and informed him that he had been speeding. By the end of their conversation, Champion was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.
At the police station, Champion called his mother to come and bail him out. She arrived at the station with her 17-year-old son, who was promptly arrested after slapping the hand of an officer. Mom then allegedly got loud with police and also was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.
Finally Mr. Champion, the dad, showed up from church to iron things out. Unfortunately he became so disruptive that police actually had to shoot him with a Taser gun.
The Champion family was eventually freed on bond and were last seen trying to arrest a mob boss for littering.
Motorist recounts hiss-story
Rental car companies are beginning to equip their cars with GPS in order to attract new business. But read the fine print—sometimes GPS can stand for “gigantic python surprise.”
Such was the case for a Wisconsin man who rented a car to drive from Madison to Milwaukee and back. During his trip, he was startled to find a ball python slithering out from under his seat between his legs.
He immediately pulled the car over and called police, who found the 21/2-ft snake coiled around the base of the driver’s seat. The snake was slightly dehydrated and is believed to have been in the car for at least a week. It was tame and likely hand-reared.
Still, that wasn’t much comfort to the shocked driver, who told police that he was going to expect a free car rental out of this.
Hog wild
For far too long, Harley-Davidson aficionados have had to live with the knowledge that their final ride will probably happen in the back of a hearse made by Cadillac or Lincoln.
Well no more. The Tombstone Hearse Co. in Alum Bank, Pa., is offering an alternative: 19th century-style casket carriers powered by modified Harley-Davidson Road Kings.
The hand-crafted, all-black hearse features a glass-enclosed carriage with curtains and tassles. Gold lanterns adorn each corner and it’s fitted with a black vinyl top. The carrier is pulled by a three-wheel Harley with modified gears for pulling heavier loads.
Tombstone’s drivers come dressed in white tuxedo shirts, string ties, vests, black pants and knee-high boots with spurs. Tombstone says its hearses rent for $500-$600 and also are perfect for Wild West buffs as well as anyone looking to embarrass their mother-in-law one last time.
Crashing the party
When Shirley Elder arrives at a party, she arrives with a bang. And this Fourth of July was no different. Elder was trying to park her 1992 Ford Taurus in a Marlborough, Mass., parking garage last month when she accidentally hit the gas instead of the brake. Her car took off in reverse and launched out of the parking lot, sailed over an alley and crashed into the roof of a nearby duplex.
One of the residents, Scott Penney, was on the other side of the house preparing to host a July 4th cookout. When he came around to see what had happened, he found Elder and her Taurus sticking out of the roof. Luckily, a supporting wall in the attic prevented the vehicle from falling into the home’s living area and no one was hurt.
Just as surprised were Penney’s guests, who arrived at the house at the same time as rescue workers. “What an exciting party,” one of them reportedly said. “I wonder what he’s planning for Labor Day.”
The blind leading the dumb
Have you heard the one about the blind golf cart driver? Well it’s no joke.
Recently in Peachtree City, Ga., a drunk man used his blind friend as a designated driver. The plan was for the blind man to drive the pair in a golf cart while the drunk man navigated.
Surprisingly, the pair made it two miles before they crashed into a parked car. No one was hurt, but the blind man learned his lesson. He said he’ll never drive another vehicle again unless the navigator is sober.
